Life can change in a flash when you least expect it. One milestone not completed, one less word spoken, taking one tantrum at a time. Sitting in that room hearing a doctor use the words, on the spectrum, autism, special ed, speech therapy, psychiatrist visits, Occupational therapists, early intervention, life long, no cure, different. You knew for awhile, but hearing those words come from your child’s doctor, it turns real and hits you like a brick. The feeling doesn't usually come til you’re getting out of the office or maybe when you get home. The thought process takes a little while. All you think about is you child's future, well, will he have a somewhat normal childhood? Could he live an easy life? Will he be able to get married, have kids? It took me a little while but decided I didn’t need to talk about these future questions right now. It’s time to think of the now and what I could do to give him all those chances if I just focus on today and not tomorrow or the next day, but today. “What can I do for my child today that will help him tomorrow?” That is the question you need to be asking yourself, and that is what I ask myself everyday. This diagnosis is not a life sentence. It doesn't mean that their life is over, it is so very very far away from that. These children need more guidance than ever right now, and they will do really great things in their life, things you never thought was possible. If you just give them that chance and encouragement. My children are the smartest kids I know. Why would I think their life and goals would have boundries? What they can do is limitless, endless, innumerable. It is amazing how much help is out there for children with these daily struggles. You aren't alone in any of this. There are so many people out there that go through and have gone through what you are going through right now and these are the people who you need to reach out to, don’t be afraid. It will be extremely tough and some days even harder. Somedays you don’t feel strong enough and overwhelmed but you hold it together for yourself and even more so for that amazing child of yours. Your child is learning from you, you need to toughen up and stay positive for them and for yourself. Your child is amazing! and nothing has changed that. Your child has always been this amazing little human being you grew to love as soon as they came into your life on day one. A diagnosis is just a diagnoses, it’s just a word. The diagnosis didn’t change your child. It just helps you understand more of what your child goes through with autism and what help to seek, not to better your child, but to help them along their way with less struggles and more strength. I love my children, autism and all. They are my amazing babies. I will always fight for them and be beside them through it all. I am all in! I am a mother who loves her beautiful autistic children with all her heart and wouldn't have it any other way. Things WILL get better. If you don’t feel that way at the moment, you buckle up and keep going! “better” will be here so enough. You just watch. Remember, your child and you can do anything and overcome any bump in the road but it will smooth out and it will be an easier path and together you guys are an awesome team. Love your child for who they are. Just look up. :)
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Thanks Guys
My son's page:
http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.aspievent=1125305&lis=0&kntae1125305=5FC7D82D2D034F479988F1321B9FBEC5&team=6203281
Here's the link to check to see if there is a walk near you:
http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/site/c.igIRL6PIJrH/b.7683511/k.2EFB/Walk_Now_for_Autism_Speaks_Home.htm
Friday, November 7, 2014
Finley
Let me introduce Finley...
He is my youngest at 2 years old. He is a bright little man with few words. He is non-verbal but has a huge personality. He has a few words, but when he says these words they aren't meant towards anything or anyone, he just says them to make the sound. He doesn't communicate his needs. Most of the time, it's just guessing what he needs. He isn't a complicated child. He mostly likes his alone time, and to be kept to himself and never wants to go play with anyone except his mommy. When the doctor told me that Finley is showing symptoms of autism and I need to get him evaluated. My heart broke when I heard those words come out of her mouth. I had just recovered and was thinking more clearly after Oliver's diagnoses and now I was right back into this hole. I shut down that day and my emotions were all over. I was angry, sad, depressed, and would not stop thinking about the future with having 2 children with autism. My life changed after Oliver's diagnoses and believe me, it changed again drastically when I heard Finn might be autistic too. With every week that passes I see more and more symptoms in Finley. His language was a red flag off the bat. Then came the spinning while he sat on the floor. Then him not playing with his toys properly, he picks the toy up without hesitation and tosses it and he will keep doing this for a hour or longer. He never gets frustrated unless he is in the middle of lining up or stacking block and it gets messed up and he freaks. He is a very even tempered child. Oliver and Finley are very different children. One with worse symptoms then the other. When Oliver was young and something didn't go as planned he got pissed, not sad, pissed. Finley, he gets sad, and is more sensitive to being hurt. If he falls he cries, he doesn't like a certain noise, he cries. Another thing he does is he is always covering his ears. Just certain sounds or words he doesn't like, he covers them. When it's bedtime he rocks his head side to side to soothe himself to sleep. He is far from a picky eater, he will eat anything and everything and try everything I give him. Finley has a huge heart, he does show affection when he wants too. He is my little cuddle buddy and is always attached to his momma's hip lol Finn is also in early intervention and doing well with it. The early intervention program hasn't just helped Finley but also helps me understand him better and helps me teach him and it also helps me handle certain situations. It's amazing! Autism is never the same for every child. All children with autism are different. They think different, handle situations differently, and just have different personalities, but every child who is on the spectrum, they are amazing in their own way. <3 There is so much love to give for these children and there is so much to learn from them too.
-Jess Stout
He is my youngest at 2 years old. He is a bright little man with few words. He is non-verbal but has a huge personality. He has a few words, but when he says these words they aren't meant towards anything or anyone, he just says them to make the sound. He doesn't communicate his needs. Most of the time, it's just guessing what he needs. He isn't a complicated child. He mostly likes his alone time, and to be kept to himself and never wants to go play with anyone except his mommy. When the doctor told me that Finley is showing symptoms of autism and I need to get him evaluated. My heart broke when I heard those words come out of her mouth. I had just recovered and was thinking more clearly after Oliver's diagnoses and now I was right back into this hole. I shut down that day and my emotions were all over. I was angry, sad, depressed, and would not stop thinking about the future with having 2 children with autism. My life changed after Oliver's diagnoses and believe me, it changed again drastically when I heard Finn might be autistic too. With every week that passes I see more and more symptoms in Finley. His language was a red flag off the bat. Then came the spinning while he sat on the floor. Then him not playing with his toys properly, he picks the toy up without hesitation and tosses it and he will keep doing this for a hour or longer. He never gets frustrated unless he is in the middle of lining up or stacking block and it gets messed up and he freaks. He is a very even tempered child. Oliver and Finley are very different children. One with worse symptoms then the other. When Oliver was young and something didn't go as planned he got pissed, not sad, pissed. Finley, he gets sad, and is more sensitive to being hurt. If he falls he cries, he doesn't like a certain noise, he cries. Another thing he does is he is always covering his ears. Just certain sounds or words he doesn't like, he covers them. When it's bedtime he rocks his head side to side to soothe himself to sleep. He is far from a picky eater, he will eat anything and everything and try everything I give him. Finley has a huge heart, he does show affection when he wants too. He is my little cuddle buddy and is always attached to his momma's hip lol Finn is also in early intervention and doing well with it. The early intervention program hasn't just helped Finley but also helps me understand him better and helps me teach him and it also helps me handle certain situations. It's amazing! Autism is never the same for every child. All children with autism are different. They think different, handle situations differently, and just have different personalities, but every child who is on the spectrum, they are amazing in their own way. <3 There is so much love to give for these children and there is so much to learn from them too.
-Jess Stout
Oliver
This is my first time owning a blog. I always thought about writing one a while ago just never gotten around to it. My name is Jessica. I am 27 years old, a mother to two beautiful boys and a wife to a loving husband. So, I wrote a blog because I finally got out of this funk that was keeping me from communicating with anyone about my son's diagnoses. In August, my son was diagnosed with Autism when he was 4 years old. He is now in school and, well, things are not going the way there suppose to, but I will get to that a little later. His name is Oliver. He has communication and behaviour issues. He is verbal, but he can't say full sentences, he has potty training issues, he has a rough time trying to explain how he is feeling and what he wants and even how his day went in school. But let me tell you about Oliver first....
Oliver is a 5 year old boy who has quite an imagination. He is extremely smart but struggles with everyday tasks. One of them being communication with his parents and his youngest brother. He usually likes to play by himself but sometimes invites his brother along to play. He keeps his toys to himself and wants nothing to do with sharing unless he feels like it. He is an extremely picky eater and only has a few food items he loves and if it's something messy he refuses to eat it. He has a HUGE collection of Hot Wheels cars. Has to be about 200 of those things around. I know there is alot cause every step I take in his room I injure my foot by stepping on them. He has a few passions. He loves his cars, his tablet, and going for a drive in the truck. He knows all his shapes, counts to 10 or sometimes to 15. He knows all his colors, 21 out of 26 letters at the moment, loves music class and he just started playing keyboard and already loves it. He learns best on learning apps on the tablet, it keeps him interested and focused. He loses his concentration not long after I try to work with him on school work. He has an amazing memory. One day he wanted to know what make and model his hot wheels cars were and whenever we pass car in a parking lot he points to them and names them, and most of the time he is correct. He is a lovable child, he hugs, he kisses and he cuddles and he even tells me he loves me a few times through out the day. If I stub my toes or I get hurt, he worries and asks me if I'm alright, and he comes up and kisses my boo boo's. He is amazing. Yes, he has struggles everyday. But we try hard to figure out what is wrong and try to fix it. Since he started school, he has been having more tantrums in the day at home. Sometimes, just hugging him tight and rocking him calms him down within 5 minutes or so. But sometimes it doesn't work and his tantrum goes on for longer. If it's a bad tantrum, he kick, punches, and headbutts and then in some cases he bangs his head on the ground and I have to stop him and hug him again so he doesn't
injure himself.
Oliver is now asking me for a fruit snack so I will write again tonight. Thanks guys.
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